User:Symposium/News of Kalseri
Headlines
Headlines in Comic Sans are satirical.
HENRIVILLE, CI, 2023-07-29 PNC backs out of agreement with LDP over Congress seat sharing, announces formation of "Bloc of Autonomies" with Falkorian Party, Quincollian Party.
TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-07-25 New government under Jim Babich. Parties in Babich II cabinet: Liberal Democrats, Progressives, Puwersas, CS Conservatives.- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-07-10 President Richard Nakamura to assign LDP duty to form a new coalition. Possible combinations: D (H: 75; S: 24)+Progressives (H: 3; S: 0)+Puwersas (H: 3; S: 1)+CS Conservatives (H: 1; S: 3) = H: 82/200; S: 28/56
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-07-06 BREAKING: Babich Cabinet dissolved
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-07-05 NDP Hon. Randy Novikoff switches to LDP
- Hon. Gabrielle Holzknecht (JV)
- Hon. Randy Novikoff (KL)
- Hon. William Pereyra (KL)
- Hon. Samantha Dillington (LG)
- Hon. Dave Fylan (TK)
- Hon. Miriam Hanson (TK)
- Hon. Keith Dubanowski (UR)
- 34 → 27 NDP Representatives
- Sen. Enos Téngisi (EV)
- Sen. Steve Hakobyan (LG)
- Sen. Al Dodson (SR)
- 9 → 6 NDP Senators
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-07-04 Howe: "The LDP was too much like the SCP"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-07-03 NDP SecGen McKendrick: "Nothing personal with PM, we simply disagreed on many issues"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-07-03 PM Babich: "We did all we could, but the differences were too big"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-07-03 BREAKING: PM Babich announces he will submit request to resign to the President
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-30 BREAKING: PM Babich to hold a speech on Monday
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-21 President Nakamura: "New elections? It's premature to talk about this."
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-21 President Nakamura: "I have not been made aware of whether the Prime Minister intends to resign, but he said that this situation could not go on anymore multiple times."
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-21 President Nakamura: "I have met with Prime Minister James Babich today. The exchange was cordial, but the Prime Minister looked nervous."
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-14 BREAKING: "The current situation will be the subject of the weekly talk with the President on Wednesday", says PM Babich
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-13 PM Babich: "The government cannot carry out its duties like this"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-13 Sen. Hakobyan: "the NDP as I knew it has died"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-13 Sen. Hakobyan reportedly in talks with other "Discontentists"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-12 NDP Leader Steve Jurgensen: "The debate has shown a deep and bitter division within the Party"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-12 Sen. Jon McKendrick: "We must take responsibility for our actions"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-12 Hon. Randy Novikoff (N-KL): "The conduct seen in the debate was unacceptable"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-11 "Letter of Discontent" signatories quit NDP. Signatories: Dubanowski (UR), Holzknecht (JV), Fylan (TK), Hanson (TK), Dillington (LG), Pereyra (KL), Téngisi (EV), Hakobyan (LG). Dodson (SR) also quits.
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-11 NDP debate on role within Government suspended due to fighting. According to moderator Hon. Randy Novikoff (N-KL), Corinne Howe and Steve Hakobyan "engaged in a exchange of vicious insults".
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-07 SCP Leader Cindy Vargas: "The infighting within the Government is worrying"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-06-04 KIHC 2 project given the green light: KIHC teams approve plans to create second league and franchises for it
HUTCHINSON, JV, 2023-06-03 Hornata: "The D-N arrangement could not have lasted in any feasible way"- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-06-01 It's official: Ioanis Hornata and Jon McKendrick have come out!
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-05-29 KIHC Teams to vote on implementation of second league by 4 June
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-05-11 James Abel wants Government to set up task force to bring back Quigley cereal mascots
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-05-10 PM Babich hints at hem decimalization: "bringing the country in line with the rest of the world"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-05-05 Federal Surrogate Procreation Act approved, 154-3. Governing coalition split: LDP in favor of FSPA, NDP and Cartierois opposed.
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-05-03 NDP MC debate on role within Government postponed to June
- HUTCHINSON, JV, 2023-04-27 Hornata: "NatDem-Reform merger looking more likely than ever"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-27 Howe decries signatories of Letter of Discontent as "traitors", calls for more National Democratic representation in Government
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-26 Sen. Hakobyan (N-LG): "The Howe-Abel axis of stubbornness killed the coalition"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-26 National Democratic MsC Dubanowski (UR), Holzknecht (JV), Fylan (TK), Hanson (TK), Dillington (LG), Pereyra (KL), Téngisi (EV), Hakobyan (LG) sign "Letter of Discontent", warn that "stubbornness by party leaders will kill the coalition, harm the country, and ultimately lead the party to political suicide", threaten to leave NDP if "action is not taken immediately"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-24 PM Babich: "The coalition is on its last legs"
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-04-24 In or out? National Democratic Party to hold member vote in mid-May to determine the party's future role in Babich cabinet
CARRIVAN, NK, 2023-04-23 KALMORA: Jeffrey Curry (Scorpion) takes the win at the New Kerry Autodrome; Jimmy Reed (Bluegolds) runner-up, Roberto De Amicis (Scorpion) third. Crash at Lap 3 wipes out nine cars.- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-19 Alliance of sightseeing tour bus companies to fight Fischer ban on access in Tașarél
- PAG-ASA, JV, 2023-04-18 Filipino Kalșerian criticizes Filipino people for not being Pinoy enough
HAYWORTH, ZX, 2023-04-17 Random Canton makes Finnish co-official language to appease one person living within its borders. Torilla tavataan!- TATINBOURG, CI, 2023-04-16 KALMORA: Jimmy Reed (Bluegolds) takes the win in Cartier Island. Aaron Mellinger (Harts) runner-up, Jeffrey Curry (Scorpion) in third.
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-16 Gann House Office: "The President has done something today, we think, but we're not too sure about it"
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-04-15 KalCom to perform songs submitted for Kalșeri Sings as sea shanties
COLWYN BAY, CH, 2023-04-14 Makeover works at Lang Theater for Kalșeri Sings completed- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-12 PM Jim Babich to inaugurate new BoixRossell plane by piloting it himself
FORSYTH Co., TG, 2023-04-11 KALMORA: Infinity Race, an animated series with science fiction elements, set to premiere in Summer 2024.
LAND'S END, KL, 2023-04-10 Ioanis Hornata terrified that homosexuality will lead to fewer cases of domestic abuse- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-10 Federal Surrogate Procreation Act, drafted by Olubunmi Idowu (D-EV) and Lisa Guan (K-EV), submitted to House. If ratified, the FSPA will make surrogate motherhood available everywhere in the country. Surrogate motherhood is already legal in Evalria, Takalim, Lág and Urgel.
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-09 President Richard Nakamura trips during the yearly Easter Egg hunt
BRANBURY, LG, 2023-04-09 Orange Lág Racing team officially announced for the next KALMORA season. The new team, founded by former association football player and television presenter Amadeus Farro, will have telecom operator Orange as the title sponsor.- PERCY, KL, 2023-04-09 Hornata: "Reform and National Democrats have many points in common"
- PERCY, KL, 2023-04-09 Hornata: "Future of our parties was discussed"
-
VÄSTERVATTENBY, SWEDENUSLAR, EV, 2023-04-08 Kalșerian Independent Editor-in-Chief caught fondling picture of Ulf Kristersson - PERCY, KL, 2023-04-08 Jurgensen, McKendrick, Hornata meet in Percy
- FALȘAK, KL, 2023-04-07 Falșak City Hall vandalized with "FALKOR CANTON NOW" graffiti
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-04-07 "LibDem decision to join forces with NatDems incomprehensible", Amanda St. John (Prog-CH) says
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-04-07 PM Babich: "Worrying words from Progressives"
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-04-06 Chet Ekmekci (Prog-TK): "National Democrats holding the government to ransom"
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-04-06 Chet Ekmekci (Prog-TK): "Progressives quitting the coalition not out of realm of possibility"
- FALȘAK, KL, 2023-04-05 Historic Knights of the Green Fields member Uiliam Kádagi hinting at national political office
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-04-05 Edwin Cho schedules meeting with Progressive MsC
LAS ENCINAS, SR, 2023-04-03 SR Gov. Antonio Guillén: "First KALMORA race in San Rafael Speedway a success"- WESTPORT, SR, 2023-04-02 KALMORA: Jeffrey Curry (Scorpion Bay) wins the San Rafael Rye, edging out Steven Nance at the last lap. Jimmy Reed (Bluegolds) in third.
CAPE SUNDERVALE, 2023-04-01 Following the approval of the Cantonal Constitution Reform Act, the office of Governor General has been abolished. Alfred Cosby: "Not an easy decision, but it was necessary to bring Cape Sundervale to the 21st century." William Rothes: "The City has now severed all institutional ties to its ancestral motherland." Sen. Steve Jarrett (S): "Cape Sundervale has rid itself of an outdated and ineffectual institution".- BRANBURY, LG, 2023-04-01 Gov. Kylie Hopkins urges Lágans to stop gender reveal parties; "these gatherings promote an outdated and stereotypical view of human nature", the Governor writes.
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-04-01 NDP-Reform merger "interesting idea", says Jon McKendrick
- HUTCHINSON, JV, 2023-03-31 National Democratic and Reform parties could merge by 2027, Ioanis Hornata says
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-03-27 Tașarél Cavaliers fan groups 96-Grupa and South Side Jets sign letter condemning "McDonaldization" of Kalșerian football, form breakaway club Tsurugi Evalria F.C. in response to the CFG takeover, and urge other groups "with conscience" to join their effort.
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-03-25 The City Football Group takeover of Tașarél Cavaliers has been completed. CFG will acquire the entirety of Yarmolenko Group's 75% stake in the club.
- GWASTATIR, EV, 2023-03-20 Edwin Cho has "serious concerns" over "NDP's lack of adroitness"
O'MALLEY, UR, 2023-03-19 KALMORA: Jeffrey Curry (Scorpion Bay) wins the Urgelian Rye; Kyle Olsson (Red Bull) and Jimmy Reed (Bluegolds) complete the podium.- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-03-15 Evalria and Lág ban corrective surgeries on underaged intersex individuals
- BRANBURY, LG, 2023-03-12 KALMORA: Steven Nance (Bluegolds) wins Lágan Rye, Jeffrey Curry (Scorpion Bay) in second and Aaron Mellinger (Harts) in third.
- CARNAFARRY, NK, 2023-03-12 Vivian O'Keeffe re-elected Governor (54%), defeating Debbie Hotchkiss (S) in the second count (46%). Tom Garfield (ReNew) fails to make the second count. Hugh O'Daly (R) under 1% in first preferences.
- CAPE SUNDERVALE, 2023-03-12 Cantonal Constitution reform approved, post of Governor General will be abolished on April 1.
- CAPE SUNDERVALE, 2023-03-12 Chamber of Commons elections: Conservatives slip to minority for the first time since joining Kalșeri: 10 Conservatives, 7 Social Cooperationists, 4 Independents, 3 Kalhan Union of Cape Sundervale, 1 Intransigent Loyalist.
- CAPE SUNDERVALE, 2023-03-12 Cape Sundervale elections: Alfred Cosby (Cons.) has been re-elected Mayor (51%). Dharmesh Bulsara (S) 37%; Teodora Ninkofon (Ind.) 7%; Mary Ann Williamson (Intransigent Loyalist) 4%.
- ST. JOSEPH, EV, 2023-03-05 Steve Jurgensen scoffs at hem decimalization plans: "Not a priority for the country"
- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2023-03-04 Treasurer General Zanin: "decimalization definitely within plans"
- LAS ENCINAS, SR, 2023-02-05 Las Encinas Tiburones win Game 5 and are crowned KIHC Champions in their own arena, defeating the Siena Legion 4-3 (Series: 4-1; best of 7)
VEMÍN, QN, 2022-12-11 Elections in Quincollia: Cantonal Constitution approved; Tom Kowalczyk confirmed as Governor; flag and shield designs approved.- TAȘARÉL, EV, 2022-11-07 The Protesting Measures Act, introduced by Hon. Regis Chandler III, Esq. (R-LN) and Hon. Corinne Howe (N-SR), has been voted down, 42-123-35. Yeses: N, R, Falkorians, Cartierois. Noes: S, L, K (the informal "Mercedes block"), Progressives, 37 Liberal Democrats. Abstained: C, Puwersas, 31 Liberal Democrats. The PMA would have introduced a penalty of up to three years and/or ħ10,000 for "willfully disrupting the flow of traffic" and for "damaging works of art, or attempting such action, by destroying them or applying any material without the authorization of the competent authorities".
October
NDP will vote for Protesting Measures Act, Jurgensen announces
EVALRIA, 2022-10-19. To say that the Protesting Measures Act has been the source of disagreements and acrimony would be an understatement. Three parties – Social Cooperation, Libertarians and Kalșerians for Change – have already stated that they will not support the bill. The National Democrats and the Reform Party, on the other hand, defend the Act; their reasoning is best summed up by Hon. Steve Jurgensen (N-JV):
While we, the National Democrats, support the right to a healthy and peaceful protest, we cannot – and must not – condone artificial delays and the destruction of priceless works of art by punks who want their fifteen minutes of fame. For this reason, we will vote in favor of the Protesting Measures Act introduced yesterday.
— Hon. Steve Jurgensen
Vargas, Gosling and Cordell shoot down Protesting Measures Act
EVALRIA, 2022-10-18. The Social Cooperation Party has immediately stated its intention to vote against the Protesting Measures Act introduced this morning.
"What this Act is seeking to do contradicts the principles of free speech and peaceful demonstration enshrined in the Charter," explained SCP Leader Hon. Cindy Vargas (EV). "If this Act is approved, it will set a dangerous precedent in Kalșerian law."
Hon. Rick Gosling (L-JV) and Hon. Natasha Cordell (K-LG) followed Vargas in announcing that their parties will also vote against the Act. Gosling spoke about the "issues with the Act's constituionality", and Cordell opened her statement with these words: "This country was founded on one massive protest!".
Assuming that every Representative from the three parties votes as stated, the S-L-K bloc will have 82 votes, enough to prevent a possible override of the presidential veto.
Protesting Measures Act submitted to House
EVALRIA, 2022-10-18. The Protesting Measures Act 2022, introduced in the House by Hon. Regis Chandler III, Esq. (R-LN) and Hon. Corinne Howe (N-SR), has been the source of plenty an argument from the instant it was submitted to the House of Representatives.
If approved, the Act will introduced a penalty of up to three years and/or ħ10,000 for "willfully disrupting the flow of traffic" and for "damaging works of art, or attempting such action, by destroying them or applying any material without the authorization of the competent authorities".
The Act had been composed in response to the roadblocking protests staged by No Good Reason to Ignore Climate Change, which had brought Evalrian traffic to a halt, and covered the Hayworth Equestrian statue in Tașarél in paint.
Protesting Measures Act draft leaked
Environmental activists halt traffic on Hayworth Avenue
June
Gubernatorials: Hopkins and Addle squeak out; McIntyre never in doubt
2022-06-26.
Evalria: "People just wanted someone else, and that's how life goes": these are the words that best describe this Evalrian mayoral election. Mayor Ioana Fischer's campaign had the money, it had the public backing, and its "Go on Evalria" leitmotif captivated audiences, and yet she lost to former Secretary of Transportation Spencer Addle, thus becoming the first incumbent mayor to lose re-election since W. Zeno Smith – a fellow Social Cooperationist, no less – in 1982.
Evalria (IRV)
Lág: Lt. Gov. Kylie Hopkins manages to continue the Social Cooperation hold over the Art Nouveau Governor's Mansion in downtown Branbury, though by a much smaller margin than the Reds may have hoped for. The Belt has once again proved decisive for the S+K ticket, as it did for Michael O'Brien.
| Candidate | Ticket | 1st Round | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bill Gorczycki | Liberal Democratic National Democratic |
48 | |
| Kylie Hopkins | Social Cooperation Kalșerians for Change Social |
40 | |
| Sharon Corduroy | Libertarian | 31 | |
| Dan Lisca | Lágan Restoration | 23 | |
| Saul Gist | Lág to the Lágans! | 25 | |
| Margaret Olorșagi | Pirate | 22 | |
| Edward J. Leeson | Reform Farmers' |
17 | |
| Dan Lisca | Movement for Action | 23 | |
| Klara Ralport | Social Democratic | ||
| Markus Antonius Sigi | Communist | 10 | |
| Elektra Sernarasi | Seri Ralagiau Șin Kalhanton Rialeri |
2 | |
| Phil Dykstra | Anti-Party | 22 | |
| Abstentions | 10 | ||
New Lothian: The polling figures collected throughout the campaign period have translated to a comfortable victory for incumbent governor Henry McIntyre, though not without worries over the loss of the faithful Quincollian blue-voting base.
New Lothian (FPTP)
April
Lág SC considers withdrawing from KALMORA
BRANBURY, LG, 2022-04-21. Mere days after news of a possible sale of the Sullivan KALMORA team to Red Bull broke out, Lág Sports Club, the official multi-sports club of the Canton of Lág, has openly discussed the idea of withdrawing from the KALMORA Main Series. Director Ted Williams has given four key reasons for the direction in which the Club is headed:
- Disappointing results. The KALMORA team has so far been unable to replicate the otherwordly performance by Dave Yken and Rick Heller. Whether this is down to issues with the Ford power unit – also reported by Sullivan and RBJ Motorsports – or to the new KLM-21 chassis introduced last season is a matter of debate, but the end result is that Lág is incapable of keeping up with the major teams.
- Concern for the environment. Governor Michael O'Brien has stressed the importance of fighting climate change with all measures necessary in his re-election campaign. While he did not openly talk about the fate of the KALMORA team that would ensue from his plans, KALMORA President Garrett Heuser has implied that the Association will adopt every measure to make the competition environmentally friendlier.
- Unprofitability. The Club – and the Canton in general – has been suffering from lack of funding, so much so that the Social Cooperation, Liberal Democratic and Libertarian parties are considering the sale of the organization to a private entity.
- Low interest. While interest in the sport has historically been rather low for a canton hosting two Ryes, the disappointing results mentioned above have contributed to a sharp decline in attendance from Lág fans.
Lág has been running in the sport since 1976, making it the third-oldest team currently on the grid. It boasts four Drivers' Trophies (2004 and 2005 with Iakob Ureska, 2015 with Dave Yken, and 2017 with Rick Heller) and four Teams' Trophies (2004, 2005, 2015, 2016).
Given that the proposed 2023 reform packet would allow up to 26 drivers (none of them independent), it is yet unclear whether the spot currently occupied by Lág will be replaced, and where drivers David Olayinka and Vic Martin will go.
KALMORA: Red Bull considers Sullivan buyout
NEW NAAS, NK, 2022-04-19. Sullivan team owner Will Sullivan stated that he has been contacted by Austrian energy drink company Red Bull to discuss a possible buyout of the New Kerry team.
The last few seasons have been disappointing for everyone involved, drivers and staff alike. It's like we've been keeping up with the sport as mere spectators rather than full-fledged participants.
The need for change is real. This is why I am ready to start talks with Red Bull over the state of the Sullivan team.
KALMORA announces plans for 2023 reform
FORSYTH CO., TG, 2022-04-15. Through a press release, KALMORA President Garrett Heuser has outlined the ideas penned by the KALMORA Regulatory Committee to improve the quality of the racing in KALMORA
- In response to feedback from drivers, staff and fans, East Kalúen and San Rafael Ryes will be held in different venues – the venues for the 2023 season will most likely be temporary solutions while new circuits are being built.
- KALMORA is currently in talks with Speedway Motorsports, LLC to host a Rye in the United States, specifically in the New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, New Hampshire.
- An entry cap will be introduced for the Main Series: the number of drivers will be limited to 26, and independent entries will be phased out – crucially, these provisions will not apply to the Development Series.
- KALMORA is planning to introduce several local championships below the Development Series.
- A new scoring system is in the works: every driver will be rewarded with a number of points inversely proportional to their finishing position (e.g. winner gets 26 points, runner-up gets 25, third place gets 24...)
Under the KALMORA Charter, a 3/5 majority of teams (in this case 9) is needed for the changes to take place.
Heuser also announced that Porsche will enter the sport as an engine supplier. Porsche's entry will not be subject to approval by teams.
March
Both referendums approved
2022-03-21.
| Canton | Yes | No |
|---|---|---|
| Cape Sundervale | 71% | 29% |
| Cartier Island | 59% | 41% |
| Chalmersville | 78% | 22% |
| Evalria | 87% | 13% |
| Janval | 54% | 46% |
| Kalúen | 58% | 42% |
| Lág | 65% | 35% |
| New Kerry | 68% | 32% |
| New Lothian | 56% | 44% |
| Quincollia | 62% | 38% |
| San Rafael | 71% | 29% |
| Takalim | 67% | 33% |
| Tigupoke | 52% | 48% |
| Urgel | 56% | 44% |
| National | 64.6% | 35.4% |
| Canton | Yes | No |
|---|---|---|
| Cape Sundervale | 57% | 43% |
| Cartier Island | 43% | 57% |
| Chalmersville | 51% | 49% |
| Evalria | 58% | 32% |
| Janval | 39% | 61% |
| Kalúen | 54% | 46% |
| Lág | 57% | 43% |
| New Kerry | 59% | 41% |
| New Lothian | 46% | 54% |
| Quincollia | 39% | 61% |
| San Rafael | 53% | 47% |
| Takalim | 56% | 44% |
| Tigupoke | 47% | 53% |
| Urgel | 55% | 45% |
| National | 51% | 49% |
Greg Stephanidis elected Governor of Takalim
LENNOXTON, TK, 2022-03-21. Former Representative Greg Stephanidis (D) has defeated incumbent Governor Frankiskus Navean (S) in a tight second-round battle.
When asked about why voters chose Stephanidis, the most common answers were:
- his youthfulness (26%)
- his willingness to make access to cantonal administration easier (22%)
- his experience in the House (17%)
- his forward thinking (15%)
- his friendliness towards LGBT+ people (6%)
Many of those who voted for John Hadley (R) refused to cast a backup vote, as both major candidates were seen as "too liberal".
| Candidate | Ticket | % (1st) | % (2nd) | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Greg Stephanidis | Liberal Democratic National Democratic Libertarian |
27% | 52% | |
| Frankiskus Navean* | Social Cooperation Kalșerians for Change |
25% | 48% | |
| Peter Griffin | Anti-Party | 13% | Eliminated | |
| John Hadley | Republican Movement for Action Farmers' |
9% | Eliminated | |
| Tomas Evale | Seri Ralagiau | 5% | Eliminated | |
| William Chabod | Restart | 3% | Eliminated | |
| Philip J. King | Social | 2% | Eliminated | |
| Todd Peirce | Communist Marxist-Leninist Communist Communist Renewal |
1% | Eliminated | |
| Janice Scutiello | Lágan Restorationist | 1% | Eliminated | |
| Justine Barlow | Socialist Fight | 1% | Eliminated | |
| Others | 2% | Eliminated | ||
| Lost votes | 4% | |||
| Null votes | 7% | |||
LibDems gain relative majority, NatDems debut with style, S, L and R woes
2022-03-21. For the first time since 2002, the Liberal Democratic Party has outperformed the Social Cooperationists in a House election.
Three new parties will enter the House for the first time: the National Democrats, with an impressive 34 seats; Edwin Cho's pragmatic Restart, with three seats; and the Falkorians, with two seats.
Yarkill Strait, the seat held by Matthew Chandler for the past ten years, has been handed over to his second cousin Regis III, former Governor of New Lothian, whose Republican Party has undergone a difficult electoral campaign, tackled by the National Democrats and by its own program, deemed "anachronistic" by Senator and political scientist Vince Mundell.
Despite being predicted to win a seat, the anti-Ureskist Social Democratic Party, formed by a number of SCP card-carriers disenfranchised by the party's perceived Ureskization, failed to enter the House because it did not appear anywhere in the ballot papers. That is due to its membership count being quite low for being a protest party originating from a major party.
Considering the composition of the cabinet (which includes Liberal Democrats, National Democrats, Cartierois and Conservatives), a D-N-P-C coalition is expected to form in the house, netting 107 seats out of 200. Edwin Cho stated that Restart would be "available for negotiations"; if successful, the coalition would expand to cover 110 seats. The Falkorians have yet to delcare whether they wish to enter negotiations with the Liberal Democrats.
| Party | Seats (comp. dissolution) | |
|---|---|---|
| Liberal Democratic Party | 69 (+10) | |
| Social Cooperation Party | 58 (-18) | |
| National Democratic Party | 34 (+34) | |
| Libertarian Party | 15 (-18) | |
| Kalșerians for Change | 10 (-3) | |
| Republican Party | 5 (-9) | |
| Restart | 3 (+3) | |
| Cartierois National Party | 3 (=) | |
| Falkorian Party | 2 (+2) | |
| Conservative Party of Cape Sundervale | 1 (=) | |
| Movement for Action | 0 (-1) | |
KL Gov. Kortin Sau considers banning crypto mining in Kalúen
PERCY, KL, 2022-03-12. Governor Andréas Kortin Sau has begun talks with the Liberal Democrats and the opposition (S-K) in the Cantonal Assembly to discuss the idea of banning the mining of cryptocurrency within the canton.
Climate change is a real issue that has already affected Kalúen, and it will continue to do so unless we take swift action.
The mining of cryptocurrency is deleterious to the environment, and the end result is nothing but a hypercapitalist hellscape that encourages get-rich-quick schemes and distribution of illegal content of all sorts. It promises to bring us the future while shamelessly destroying it.
I have talked with the Honorable Members of the Cantonal Assembly from the Social Cooperation Party, the Liberal Democratic Party and Kalșerians for Change to bring an end to cryptocurrency mining within Kalúen.
The bank accounts of the few do not justify the current plight on the environment or the unwarranted inconvenience to the average consumer.— Gov. Andréas Kortin Sau
Feynman: "PopsicleDreams and ryzer72 not in list of our volunteers"
PERCY, KL, 2022-03-09. 2019 Libertarian candidate Damian Feynman joined former Prime Minister Ríos Soriano in explaining the conduct held by his campaign:
You see, the thing with crypto is that every single transaction is registered into the blockchain. We checked every transaction multiple times during the final days of the campaign, and made sure that they took place with good intentions in mind.
Had Gershwin's campaign harbored a mole working for us, we would have caught wind of it pretty much immediately. As far as we are aware, the list of volunteers for the Libertarian bid did not include anyone using the nicknames "PopsicleDreams" or "ryzer72".
Also, all of our transactions took place using Monero, not Ether.— Damian Feynman (@Damian76Feynman)
Leo Briggs publishes full program for 2024 bid
LENNOXTON, TK, 2022-03-08. Following his tweet from almost a month ago in which he wrote six points of his program, Elektrem CEO Leo Briggs has published a document in which he lists all his "core positions" for the 2024 general election:
- Replace cash and fiat currencies with the elektrem, which will be pegged to the Bitcoin;
- Make transactions with all cryptocurrencies easier;
- Introduce tax credits for IT startups and owners of electric vehicles;
- Introduce four hours of IT class for every type of school;
- Digitalize the country by abolishing the usage of paper;
- Introduce online voting;
- Introduce Universal Basic Income;
- Abolish all restrictions mandated by the COVID-19 pandemic;
- Do "everything in his power" to stop the Internet from becoming a "lump of family-friendly, pink-glassed, sugar-coated Victorian nonsense";
- Abolish the income tax;
- Abolish the death sentence where it is still carried out;
- Introduce a wage for students;
- Promote arts and culture through the minting of NFTs;
- Abolish all naming laws;
- Abolish all age requirements for jobs and political offices;
- Encourage the usage of Web 3.0;
- Recreate Kalșeri in the Metaverse;
- Rid Kalșeri of "draconian anti-crypto" legislation;
- Make access to firearms and light drugs easier;
- Make emulation legal for all types of hardware and software that are no longer supported.
Ríos Soriano denies usage of cryptocurrency by campaign
PERCY, KL, 2022-03-07. Former Prime Minister Alejandra Ríos Soriano published a written statement across social media, in which she flatly denies that her 2019 campaign made use of any cryptocurrency, saying that she "doesn't understand the very idea behind crypto".
She also wrote that everyone who applied to volunteer for the campaign "had been thoroughly searched for potential security threats" and that all the approved channels of communication used by the volunteers were "constantly monitored". She then concluded her statement by opening up to the possibility of an internal audit.
Gershwin: "Percy paper would explain campaign going awry"
PERCY, KL, 2022-03-05. Following the news of the paper, Minister Chris Gershwin reached tweeted the following statement:
I have just finished reading the paper shown yesterday on the Globe, and I cannot help but be shocked at the revelation. [1/3]
If that exchange turns out to be real, this would finally pinpoint why my campaign suddenly lost a lot of steam in the 2019 primaries: hijacking, and perhaps even backstabbing. [2/3]
I am not going to name anyone as the culprit, because I simply cannot do such a thing yet.— Chris Gershwin, Minister of Education (@ChrisGershwinKL)
Leaked papers reveal smear plan against Gershwin in '19
PERCY, KL, 2022-03-04. Yesterday, the Kaluonic Globe received a document containing a chat exchange between "PopsicleDreams" and "ryzer72". The exchange, which took place between 21:16 and 22:32 of June 6, 2019, is about a purported plan to run an online smearing campaign against Chris Gershwin, who was enjoying popularity within the Liberal Democratic electorate and among the Independents.
PopsicleDreams: ill cut to the chase
PopsicleDreams: i need u to sink gershwin
PopsicleDreams: hes polling too high
ryzer72: where?
PopsicleDreams: everywhere
PopsicleDreams: the more he tanks, the merrier
ryzer72: online?
PopsicleDreams: yea
[...]
ryzer72: i reckon 300 profiles will do for both fb and twt
ryzer72: i'll see what my colleague says, but i think he'll agree
PopsicleDreams: what about the articles? what do u have in mind?
ryzer72: eh, some drug possession and libel claims and such
ryzer72: outrageous enough for a stink, but not too outrageous, y'know?
PopsicleDreams: yea, gotcha
PopsicleDreams: official-sounding blogs, i suppose
ryzer72: indeed
ryzer72: no one's gonna bite if the url is just "lemonymelanie87" or "dhfisuhsidj" or shit like that!
[...]
PopsicleDreams: how much for the job then?
ryzer72: 2 eth [Ed: 1 Ether (ETH) was worth ħ478.44 on that day.]
PopsicleDreams: ok
PopsicleDreams: sent
On June 11, 2019, eight days before Great Wednesday, news of unflattering articles about Gershwin had started to emerge. According to Police sources, the person who reached out to this very newspaper claims to be an associate of ryzer72, and has stated that they do not know who "PopsicleDreams" is or whom said user was working for.
February
KVBL expands to four new markets, renews XLNSports deal
HAYWORTHSVILLE, KL, 2022-02-26. The Kalșerian Volleyball League wrote the following across its social media outlets:
Say hello to four new teams! Chalmersville, Lexonia, Carnafarry Surf and Folkestone will join us for the 2022 season!
And another thing, our TV deal with XLNSports has been renewed!— @KLVolleyLeague
The four debuting teams had moved from the Northern Volleyball Division, which ceased operations a month ago due to insufficient funds. It is yet unclear what the future holds for the remaining six teams.
KBC and KGFL announce TV deal
HUTCHINSON, JV, 2022-02-20. The KBC and the Kalșerian Gridiron Football League struck a three-year ħ15M/year deal this morning.
Hut!! 🏈👀 The entirety of the next three KGFL seasons will be broadcast on KBC Sports Plus, and that highlights from the most important matches will be shown on KBC Sports!
— @KBCSports
Leo Briggs announces bid for 2024 election
LENNOXTON, TK, 2022-02-12. Founder of Elektrem Leo Briggs wrote the following tweet this morning:
yup, i'm running for pm. #Leo24
— @LeoBriggs
The 42-year-old tech executive then replied to his own tweet with some key points of his program:
- replace cash and fiat currencies with the elektrem, which will be pegged to the Bitcoin;
- make transactions with all cryptocurrencies easier in Kalșeri;
- give tax credits to IT startups;
- introduce four hours of IT class for every type of school;
- digitalize the country;
- introduce online voting.
January
KRCA signed into law
EVALRIA, 2022-01-27. President Richard Nakamura signed the Kalhan Representation in Congress Act (KRCA) into law this morning.
After multiple meetings between the Social Cooperation Party, the Liberal Democrats and the National Democrats, the Kalhan Representation in Congress Act (KRCA), authored by Rep. Ioanis Hornata (R-Land's End, KL) and Sen. Garry McClennan (D-NK), had been approved on Monday by the Senate, 28-0, and three days earlier by the House, 150-36-14.
Key facts:
- The Act will add 79 seats (65 in the House, 14 in the Senate) to Congress.
- The House seats will be divided in Proportional Representation blocks, using the Sainte-Laguë method:
- Kalúen: 10
- Lág and Takalim: 9 each
- New Kerry, Cape Sundervale and Cartier Island: 9, single block
- Janval: 6
- New Lothian and Quincollia: 6, single block
- Urgel: 5
- San Rafael: 4
- Evalria: 3
- Tigupoke and Chalmersville: 2 each
- A single 14-member PR block will be added for the Senate; the term of these Senators will last for four years, and may be renewed once, in line with the Twenty-sixth amendment.
- A candidate wishing to run for any Kalhan seat will have to prove their language skills with a reading, listening and speaking test held at the Kalhan Raladure.
- The Act explicitly states that a referendum will have to take place "within 90 days from approval by the President", which means that a referendum for this act will have to take place on April 27 (a Wednesday) at the latest.
2022-01-19. Numerous pieces of media related to the SCP Foundation have flooded the comment sections of various accounts affiliated with the Social Cooperation Party across Twitter and Facebook.
It is currently unknown how and why the flooding campaign started, and whether an undertone of criticism of the Party exists. The Twitter account of the Lágan section of the Party asked would-be brigaders to abstain from the activity: "Yes, we get it. Social Cooperation Party = SCP. You can stop flooding our inbox with SCP memes now."
Former Prime Minister Maksimilianus Ureska, on the other hand, expresses amusement at this peculiar event: "Thing is, Internet folklore is always fascinating." His account was not spared from the mass-posting campaign.
The Telegraph's Political Thermometer
2022-01-03. With the rise of the National Democrats, the birth of the Republicans and the Progressives, the Social Cooperation Party tanking in important races, and a Liberal Democrat being appointed Prime Minister, the country's political stage has become uncertain and unpredictable. This fresh new year will see a fresh new House of Representatives, and judging by the figures The Telegraph has processed, potential voters are unlikely to forgive and forget the Uslar Papers scandal, and a D-N-L coalition in the House seems likely.
The Takalim gubernatorial election and the referendums on omnibus bills and compulsory voting in referendums are also due on March 20.
| Canton | S | D/C/P | N | L | R | K | Others | Unsure | People surveyed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cape Sundervale | 27% | 39% (C) | 4% | 7% | 3% | 6% | – | 14% | 4,192 |
| Cartier Island | 19% | 28% (P) | 22% | 15% | 7% | 3% | 1% | 5% | 5,005 |
| Chalmersville | 30% | 33% | 7% | 3% | 2% | 9% | 5% | 11% | 8,939 |
| Evalria | 36% | 32% | 3% | 11% | – | 13% | – | 5% | 17,681 |
| Janval | 16% | 22% | 29% | 19% | 8% | – | – | 6% | 21,389 |
| Kalúen | 19% | 21% | 19% | 14% | 12% | 10% | 1% | 4% | 25,243 |
| Lág | 27% | 30% | 11% | 7% | 4% | 9% | 4% | 8% | 19,175 |
| New Kerry | 36% | 41% | 9% | 4% | – | 3% | – | 7% | 16,188 |
| New Lothian | 11% | 19% | 26% | 17% | 8% | 3% | 4% | 12% | 13,551 |
| Quincollia | 13% | 14% | 37% | 21% | 5% | 4% | – | 6% | 3,622 |
| San Rafael | 24% | 25% | 11% | 7% | 5% | 14% | 6% | 8% | 14,191 |
| Takalim | 19% | 22% | 16% | 5% | 8% | 7% | 3% | 20% | 27,586 |
| Tigupoke | 17% | 20% | 31% | 9% | 13% | 4% | – | 6% | 8,123 |
| Urgel | 23% | 22% | 18% | 14% | 6% | 9% | 1% | 7% | 11,100 |
| National | 22.6% | 26.3% | 17.3% | 10.9% | 5.8% | 6.7% | 1.8% | 8.5% | 195,985 |
| Candidate | Ticket | % | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Greg Stephanidis | Liberal Democratic National Democratic Libertarian |
29% | |
| Frankiskus Navean* | Social Cooperation Kalșerians for Change |
26% | |
| John Hadley | Republican Movement for Action Farmers' |
14% | |
| Peter Griffin | Anti-Party | 9% | |
| Tomas Evale | Seri Ralagiau | 6% | |
| William Chabod | Restart | 2% | |
| Philip J. King | Social | 2% | |
| Todd Peirce | Communist Marxist-Leninist Communist Communist Renewal |
1% | |
| Janice Scutiello | Lágan Restorationist | 1% | |
| Justine Barlow | Socialist Fight | 1% | |
| Others | 2% | ||
| Unsure | 7% | ||
| Canton | Yes | No | Unsure |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cape Sundervale | 64% | 33% | 3% |
| Cartier Island | 57% | 29% | 14% |
| Chalmersville | 71% | 24% | 5% |
| Evalria | 87% | 9% | 4% |
| Janval | 32% | 16% | 52% |
| Kalúen | 51% | 26% | 23% |
| Lág | 62% | 13% | 25% |
| New Kerry | 57% | 41% | 2% |
| New Lothian | 37% | 42% | 21% |
| Quincollia | 45% | 6% | 49% |
| San Rafael | 55% | 21% | 24% |
| Takalim | 67% | 18% | 15% |
| Tigupoke | 49% | 13% | 38% |
| Urgel | 56% | 19% | 25% |
| National | 60% | 19.8% | 20.2% |
| Canton | Yes | No | Unsure |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cape Sundervale | 57% | 41% | 2% |
| Cartier Island | 36% | 56% | 8% |
| Chalmersville | 52% | 39% | 9% |
| Evalria | 72% | 25% | 3% |
| Janval | 45% | 53% | 2% |
| Kalúen | 43% | 43% | 14% |
| Lág | 54% | 39% | 7% |
| New Kerry | 57% | 41% | 2% |
| New Lothian | 37% | 55% | 8% |
| Quincollia | 36% | 59% | 5% |
| San Rafael | 47% | 47% | 6% |
| Takalim | 56% | 43% | 1% |
| Tigupoke | 45% | 52% | 3% |
| Urgel | 51% | 47% | 2% |
| National | 49.1% | 45.7% | 5.1% |